So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
