how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
