i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
