Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
