youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
