I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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