Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
