He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
