Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize