I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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