You really coming over, don't trick.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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