We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
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