Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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