That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
