My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
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i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
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My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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