Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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