so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Randomize