Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
