I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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