im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
