Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
