so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
