I'm eating all of the evidence.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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