if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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