I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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