He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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