that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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