I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
...so i touched it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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