he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
