I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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