I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
