You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
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she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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