She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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