Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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