your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
