I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
