my vag is so smooth its legendary
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
