Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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