Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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