you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
