my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
