first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
