I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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