My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
