Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize