When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
