i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
