my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she told me i tasted like america
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
