Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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