I'm drive I can fine osifer
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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