I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just puked most of my soul out..
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
