thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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