went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
