New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
