Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Randomize
