A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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