Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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