There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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