shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This is my gift to your gina
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
