Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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