YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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