Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
