i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just forgot I was standing up.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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