i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
