i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
